The one time someone actually said we were too "unfriendly" was when I was a deacon, and one of our duties was to call the congregants in our assigned area from time to time. On one such call, the congregant said she was going to switch churches because ours was "not very friendly." I originally couldn't place the family, despite trying to know all the people in my "deacon area" by attending the different services since some people always go to a certain one.

After hearing some more of her complaints, it finally clicked--this was the family that always arrived after service had started, and always left before the pastor ended worship service. They never presented any opportunity for anyone to be friendly! When I was new, I found this congregation to be *too* friendly for my taste...offering to introduce me to the pastors, asking if I was visiting town or had moved there, would I like to attend such-and-such an event the congregation was having, etc.

Maybe "friendliness" isn't a one-way street.