I think what Paul is suggesting and you have reaffirmed, is that we should look at others with the eyes of Christ, in love and fellowship, and always want the best for people. The "best" is salvation in Christ, and a life of faith. We must empty ourselves of jealousy and the idea of competition and self centeredness. Those outside of the faith and who deny Christ in word or deed are already dead in sin and unbelief, and are not brothers or sisters in the Lord, but since we cannot tell the future, we cannot assume they will not be saved at some point in their lives. We must then, still pray for them. My favorite verse among many is John 3.30. "He must increase but I must decrease." If we follow this verse, we will always put Christ first, and strive to rid our minds of jealousy and other vices of the flesh. Soli Deo Gloria.